Funny Jokes

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Top 100 Funny Jokes

Very Funny Joke (Face-Fj7-Fb)
Once a man received a bank statement and as soon as he saw it, he became very happy and rejoiced a lot. He started to write a thanksgiving letter to the bank. Seeing this his friend asked him what the matter was? Man replied: I am very happy, bank praised me a lot so I am writing them back a thanks letter.

Friend: Why, what did the bank wrote?

Man: The bank wrote, your payment in outstanding.

Midblowing Funny Joke (Face-Fj8-Fb)
Wife: Few years back I had a figure like a pepsi bottle.

Husband: Even today you have a figure like a Pepsi bottle, the only difference is earlier it was 300ml bottle, now it's 2ltr bottle.

Smart Funny Joke (Face-Fj9-Fb)
Once a man went to a supermarket and bought a refined oil. On the payment counter he asked the salesman for his free gift.

Salesman: There is no free gift with this oil.

Man: What do you think I am a fool. Its clearly written on the bottle, “Cholesterol Free�?.

Never angry wife joke (Face-Fj10-Fb)
A couple had a fight and was not talking to each other. The next day husband had a very important meeting so he had to wake up early, but as he was not talking to his wife, so he just wrote on a paper that wake me up at 5 in the morning tomorrow and kept it near his wife's pillow. Next morning he woke up at 8 and found many white chits near him. On them it was written- wake up it's 5. Wake up, you are getting late.

Moral: Wife is always right. Never angry her.

Hilarious Mad Man Joke (Face-Fj11-Fb)
Once few mad people ran away and went to a railway station where 4 out of the five died, while only one didn't . The reporters came to take interview of the last mad guy. They asked him: How did you survive? He replied: All were standing on the platform when suddenly the announcement was made that the train is coming on Platform number 2. Listening this all jumped on the railway track where the train came and hence died.

Reporters: That means you are intelligent and you didn't go down on the track.

Mad guy: What intelligent. I went there to suicide so I was on the railway track only, and after hearing the announcement came on the platform.

Peculiar Witty Couple Joke (Face-Fj12-Fb)
Wife: On this birthday I want Blackberry or Apple from you.

Husband: Why stress so much, Eat the season fruits that's more beneficial.

Funny Silly Lady joke (Face-Fj13-Fb)
A very fat lady went to the doctor and started arguing with him. She said: “doctor you said that if I play games , I will definitely loose my weight. I did so. I played day and night, everyday. But still there was no result.�?

Doctor: “which game did you play�?

Lady: Candy Crush

Intelligent Husband Joke (Face-Fj14-Fb)
After a fight, husband went to his office while wife kept thinking about the fight all day long. By the end of the day, husband forgot the fight and called his wife: Darling what have you made for the dinner tonight?

Wife (Angrily): Poison Curry

Husband (calmly): Actually I just called to tell you that I would get late today, you can have the dinner and go to sleep

Witty joke (Face-Fj15-Fb)
Wife to Husband: Just imagine if I listen to all that you tell me and obey you, then?

Husband started to laugh and laughed so hard that he just fell off from the sofa. He said: I just can't even imagine that.

Funny Witty Joke (Face-Fj16-Fb)
One friend to another, why are you laughing so much?

Friend: Yesterday night my room mate stealthily took my girlfriend's number from my phone.

Other friend: Ohhh...then?

Friend: Then what, Now he's in a big trouble because he started sending love messages to his own sister.

Wife is always right joke (Face-Fj17-Fb)
Husband: I think the amount of salt is more in this vegetable you made today.

Wife: Salt is perfect. Vegetables are less, its just that you always bring too little of vegetables. Try to improve your habits.

Jolly Amusing Joke (Face-Fj18-Fb)
Once a man along with his whole group of friends was going on a trip in a bus. The friends could not see any thing through the front rear shield of the car. But the man who was driving the bus was driving very well. His friends asked him: we cannot see anything through the glass, how can you drive so perfectly?

Man: Its all because of my habit of loosing my spectacles.

Friends: We are asking you about driving, how is it related to your spectacles.

Man: You see as I was tired of my this habit, I made this glass of the car as the number of my spectacles and fitted it in the car.

Comical Tenant Joke (Face-Fj19-Fb)
Wife to Husband: Wake up. There's an earthquake. The whole house is shaking. It will fall.

Husband: Go back to sleep. It's not our house. It's landlord's tension if it falls.

Very funny hilarious joke (Face-Fj20-Fb)
Once a man was in his garden, when suddenly he saw that his son came, opened the mail box, closed it and went back inside. After sometime again the same thing happened. This continued for sometime and the son was also getting angry with each instance. Finally the man asked his son, what's the matter son, is everything ok? The son replied, every time I go and sit in front of my computer, it shows you have got mail.

Hysterical funny joke (Face-Fj21-Fb)
Once a man was reading a book about Blood. His wife asked him why he was doing so. The man answered: Doctor told me that tomorrow is my Blood test, so I am preparing for it.

Very Silly Funny Joke (Face-Fj22-Fb)
Once in a high profile security agency, one of the officials called a plumber to his office. Why?

Because he wanted to see from where the confidential news was leaking.

Laughable situation joke (Face-Fj23-Fb)
Once a man shifted to a new office and was waiting for his clients, when suddenly he saw a man entering. Thinking that person to be his client, he just picked up the phone and started making false deals with huge number, in order to create an impression. Then as he kept down the phone, he asked the man what can I do for you. The man replied: I have come to start your telephone line.

Smart Silly Student Joke (Face-Fj24-Fb)
teacher: I told you yesterday to write an essay on a dog. Show me the essay.

Kid: Sir, as I just took my pencil to write on the dog, the dog ran away. So I couldn't write.

Hilarious dad son joke (Face-Fj25-Fb)
My father joined the social networking site and messaged me: send me some good jokes.

I replied, Now I am studying, I will send you later.

Father replied: Good joke, send me more.

Wacky Husband wife joke (Face-Fj26-Fb)
Wife: U know dear, I saw in dream that you buying me A beautiful Diamond necklace.

Husband: Yes , Even I saw the same dream and it completed with your brother paying the bill.

Naughty Student funny joke (Face-Fj27-Fb)
Teacher: Suppose you find $50 lying somewhere. Will you keep it with you?

Student: No, not at all.

Teacher: Very Good, I am proud of you, then what will you do with it?

Student: I will spend it.

Funny Student joke (Face-Fj28-Fb)
Teacher: What will be the future tense of “I killed Billy�?

Student: You will go to jail

Silly Funny Joke (Face-Fj29-Fb)
Amy went to his friend Jill's house and saw him finding something very badly. He was searching everywhere, under the sofa, behind the door, everywhere. Finally Amy asked him, what are you exactly searching?

Jill: A hidden camera. I know its here somewhere.

Amy: How can you say that?

Jill: That's because after sometime they are saying on TV that you are watching Discovery Channel. How do they know that?

Comical student joke (Face-Fj30-Fb)
Teacher: Suppose your father took a loan of $600 at 10% interest. After 1 year what amount will he return back?

Boy: No Amount.

Teacher: IDIOT! You don't know maths at all

Boy: Sir I know maths, but you don't know my father. He will not return the money.

Happy Man Funny Joke (Face-Fj31-Fb)
A husband and wife went to a party. There the wife saw a man drinking. Wife said to her husband: I didn't accept the marriage proposal of this man 12 years back. Now see, he's still drinking.

Husband: Wow such a long celebration.

Very funny silly joke (Face-Fj32-Fb)
Teacher: If someone cuts the ears of a man. Then what will happen?

Boy: That man will not be able to see.

Teacher: Stupid. That man will not be able to hear.

Boy: But if his ears are cut, then he won't be able to wear spectacles and hence wont be able to see.

Hysterical joke (Face-Fj33-Fb)
Bill: That girl is so beautiful.

Jill: I know her name.

Bill: What is her name?

Jill: Savings Account. She works in a bank and this is what is written in her desk.

Silly Comical Boy Joke (Face-Fj34-Fb)
Man to a boy: What do you do?

Boy: I work for the happiness of ladies.

Man: So you are a social worker.

Boy: No, I like the photos and status of ladies on Face book.

Clever Funny Woman Joke (Face-Fj35- Fb)
One rainy day a woman went to a doctor and said to him: Doctor what is your fees for home visit?

Doctor: $50

Woman: Ok, then lets go quickly.

On reaching home Doctor asked where is the patient?

Doctor: What patient, there's no patient. On this rainy day, no taxi was getting ready to come or else were charging $ 80. You dropped me on just $ 50.

Funny Wife joke (Face-Fj36-Fb)
Wife: Dear while coming please bring salt with you from the kitchen.

Husband after searching for salt: There is no salt here in the kitchen.

Wife: I knew, you just don't want to work. These are all your excuses of not working. You can't do even a work. I knew this you won't get the salt, so I have already kept it with me .

Husband shocked.

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