Funny Jokes

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Top 100 Funny Jokes

Funny money joke (Face-Fj37-Fb)
Henry goes to a bar and quickly tells the bartender: Quickly give me a drink, a very serious fight is going to begin. Bartender gives him the drink. After finishing his drink, again Henry says: Quickly give me a drink, a very serious fight is going to begin. Again after drinking, Henry does the same thing. When he did this 4-5 times, finally the bartender asks him: When will the fight finally start?

Henry: Now, when you will ask me to pay.

Comical chucklesome joke (Face-Fj38-Fb)
Once a married man was asked if your wife and girl friend both are attacked by a tiger, whom will you save?

Married Man: I will save the tiger, after all they are getting extinct.

Clever witty funny friend joke (Face-Fj39-Fb)
Jacky was selling almonds when his friend Billy came and asked him: what's the benefit of eatings almonds?

Jacky: It sharpens your brain.

Billy: Really?

Jacky: Yes, let me show you the eg. Tell me how many rice are there in 1kg rice bag.?

Billy: I don't know.

Jacky: Now eat this almond and answer me, how many oranges are there in a dozen?

Billy after eating almond replied: 12.

Jacky: see it worked, your brain sharpened.

Hilarious funny husband joke (Face-Fj40-Fb)
Jack: I am very very exhausted today. Since morning I have received about 2000 orders. I gave an add on-line for selling remote for controlling your wife. But the mistake is I wanted to write WIFI instead of wife.

Funny Humorous Kid Joke (Face-Fj41-Fb)
Teacher to a naughty student : Why are you late today?

Student: Because of mom dad, they were having a fight.

Teacher: But why are you late for school?

Student: Because one of my shoes was in mom's hand and the other shoe was in dad's hand.

Comic Lucky man joke (Face-Fj42-Fb)
Husband: I have got a very strange illness. Whenever my wife speaks, I cannot listen anything.

Doctor: Your are so lucky, this is no illness, this is blessing of God.

Funny Love jOke (Face-Fj43-Fb)
A couple once went to a restaurant for dinner. While having dinner the girlfriend was in a very romantic mood.

She said: Dear, say something, hearing which my heart starts beating faster.

Boyfriend: I don't have money to pay the bill.

Funny Wife Questions Joke (Face-Fj44-Fb)
If Columbus was married then he would never had discovered America because then his wife would have asked him:-

Where are you going?

Why are you going?

With whom are you going?

I will also come

When will you come back?

What will you bring for me?

Call me once you reach.

Why only you have to go for searching? Can't anyone else do it?

Silly Girl Joke (Face-Fj45-Fb)
Boy- So you are ready to marry me?

Girl- Yes but only as a friend.

The best dialogue of a girl.

An hilarious brother joke (Face-Fj46-Fb)
My little brother always used to forget his password. He was very sad and upset because of this reason. Then finally one day I gave him a solution which never ever made him forget his password. He kept his password as “wrong�?. So every time he puts in an incorrect password, the computer itself shows your password is “wrong�?.

Funny Child quote (Face-Fj47-Fb)
A teacher to his student: What will you do when you grow up?

Student: I will marry.

Teacher: I mean, what do you want to become when you grow up?

Student: A Husband

Teacher: I mean what do want to have when you grow up?

Student: A wife

The teacher finally gave up

Comical husband wife joke (Face-Fj48-Fb)
Husband to wife: I am having lot of pain in my chest. I think I am having heart attack. Call the doctor quickly

Wife: OK, give me your phone's password and I will call the doctor quickly.

Husband: I think I am starting to feel better, we'll go to the doctor personally.

Amusing Hilarious Joke (Face-Fj49-Fb)
George to Ptrick: 6 months before in your nameplate it was written, (B.A). And now (M.A) is written. How can that be possible. How can you have M.A in 6 months?

Patrick: 6 months before my wife died, so I wrote Bachelor Again( B.A.) . Now I am again married, so I wrote Married Again( M.A.)

Wacky funny husband wife joke (Face-Fj50-Fb)
Once a husband wife died in a car crash and became ghosts. After sometime they both met again as ghosts each other. Wife said you have changed alot. Husband said, but you still look, just the same.

Absurd silly joke (Face-Fj51-Fb)
Husband: I am eating the same vegetables for the past one month. Now will not eat them for the next 3 months.

Wife: Why don't you say the same thing for beer?

Husband: But on a second thought, I think these vegetables are great.

Funny Office joke (Face-Fj52-Fb)
After working for two years in a Corporate Office, a man realized that in these two years he didn't get any promotion, or any good increment. So he decided to go and have a talk with the HR Manager about this. After listening to this The Manager said, you have not worked even one day in this office, then how can you ask for promotion. The man was shocked on hearing this and said how can that be possible. I am working here for the past 2 years.THe Manager said, let me make you understand this:

Manager: How many days are there in a year?

Man: 365

Manager: How many hours are there is a day?

Man: 24 hrs

Manager: How many hours do you work in a day?

Man: 8 hrs

Manager: What fraction of the day you work?

Man: After calculating24/8 = 3 so one third part of the day.

Manager: Good, So what is one third of 366 days?

Man: 366/3= 122 days.

Manager: Do you work on weekends?

Man: No

Manager: How many Weekends are there in a year?

Man: 52 saturdays and 52 sundays, so total 104 days

Manager: Now subtract 104 from 122 so what is left?

MAN: 18 days

Manager: In one year, I give you two weeks of sick leave. Right?

Man: Right.

Manager: So that means 14 days out of 18 gone, hence only 4 days left. Right?

Man: Right.

Manager: Do you work on May Day?

Man: No

Manager: So now 3 days lefts. And then there are the National holidays and festival days. So remaining get nothing.Hence when you don't work even for a day, then how can you complaint?

This is Corporate Culture where HR Manager is always right.

Hilarious office joke (Face-Fj53-Fb)
An employer appreciating his employee for some good work- You can ask from me anything today.

Employee- Sir give me a raise.

Employer- I will surely give if you will agree to just one wish of mine.

Employee- surely, what is it?

Employer- You work on your last salary with me for whole of your life. Do you agree?

Employee- No way.

Employer- Sorry I can't accept your wish then.

Humorous employee joke (Face-Fj54-Fb)
A man was searching for a new job. He went for the interview, there the Boss asked him: What was the reason for leaving your last job?

Man: My last office shifted there location.

Boss: Ohh so this new location was far for you.

Man: I don't know, as the company just shifted but didn't tell me where.

Comical Father joke (Face-Fj55-Fb)
Small boy to his father: Dad,if I want to get married then what is the cost of marriage?

Father: Even I don't have the answer for your question, for me its still an ongoing process, I am still paying for it.

Smart Funny daughter joke (Face-Fj56-Fb)
Father to daughter: Your birthday is just round the corner, so what would you want as a gift?

Daughter: I don't want something great. I just want a stereo with a luxury car around it

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